What is sexual sophistication? And how much damage can it do us ...

06/11/2020

Today sex is continuously the order of the day: advertisements, television programs, films, magazines of all kinds and aimed at a diverse public, the radio. Wherever we look, we find forms, images or words linked to sex.At first glance, it might be believed that these are societies with greater sexual freedom, greater capacity to explore pleasure and eroticism, more linked to bodily sensations, but what is the sexuality that is shown? In general, what is shown (and consumed) is an overexposure of bodies, which are young, slender bodies, always ready, always enjoying themselves.


But what about the sensations of pleasure, eroticism, and emotions that come into play when we talk about sexuality? What about the fears that inhabit us, the insecurities, the voids, the doubts? What about the subjectivity of each one, the story, the encounter with another, the encounter with oneself?

Alexander Lowen develops an idea he calls "sexual sophistication." This way of approaching sex and sexuality is manifested, according to him, mainly in three areas: the sexual act, masturbation and the body. According to Lowen, a sexually sophisticated individual experiences the sexual act as a stage performance, as a staging in a theatrical performance, and not as the expression of bodily sensations and personal feelings expressed towards other.

A sexually sophisticated person considers himself free from all sexual guilt and that is the image that others see in her; something that It happens in appearance, but it is not real. Knows a variety of postures, it is able to talk about sex without concealment or inhibitions and accepts as a value
the lack of restrictions on sexual behavior; however, more Beyond this position in front of sexuality, deep down he continues to feel who is not up to the task, is afraid of failing, and cannot connect her sexual experience with her emotions and her body.


If the sexual experience is experienced as a staging, the accurate complete picture of a viewer; the works are carried out for that are seen by an audience. The person acts out his sexuality instead of
express it, seeking to impress someone else, how much your partner as someone who will later learn about what happened. 

From In this way, the sexual experience moves away from the emotions, feelings, sensations, past, present and future of the person who is experiencing it, and becomes a mere act devoid of all subjectivity. I invite you to think today how is your link with your sexuality. 

What thoughts do you have about sex? over your body? How was sexuality presented to you growing up? How have you lived your sexuality until now? What fears or anxieties inhabit you in the intimate encounter with another / a? What are the things that really give you pleasure and eroticize you? Do you allow yourself to express yourself freely in an intimate encounter? Where do you focus during the meeting, on your bodily sensations, on your thoughts, on your partner?

You can take a moment to relax, take a deep breath, let yourself lead by these questions, remember moments, encounters, couples, and give you the time and space to start discovering the most true of your own sexuality.

No two people are the same, no two encounters are the same, no two sexualities are the same. Are you ready to find out what your shape is?